PAIN

I look at everyone and

everything around me

and decide

I am in pain

not the type of pain

in which you stub your

toe against the leg

of the table

or the type of pain
in which your mouth

burns after eating

something spicy

or the type of pain
in wich your head hurts

after an exhausting day

but the type of pain
In wich you feel numb

the type of pain
in wich you feel like
screaming and shouting
but are unable to make a sound

in which you want to
run but your
legs feel paralyzed

the type of pain
in which you feel the
entire world collapse
on your shoulders

in which you feel
that your being swallowed whole
and there's no one
there to help you

in which you are
screaming for help
but the world seems to
be screaming back

the type of pain
in which even smiling
is an act of bravery

is it all because of what

or whom?

I questioning myself

sometimes I don't have

a particular reason for 

feeling this way

It's not a particular person

or cause

It's just because

myself

unenthusiastically, I flipped

through the channels

on the television to disract myself

knowing it would be useless

the tv flashed imagine pain

little children with so much to live

for

reduced to nothing more

but broken bones and ash

It showed a clip of a father crying

in hopes that he would get killed

instead of his newborn son

It showed muslim woman

being kicked out of restaurants

because them covering themeselves

made other people uncomfortable

It showed childrens suffer from

war trauma three years on

for losing their parents

and it's not over in Gaza

It showed students in village

cross dangerous river and fold

to get school and take exams

It show the elderly grandmother

walked so far hawking her wares

to pay for her crippled husband's treatment

what the beautiful thing is

we still choose to continue

we still choose to wake up

every morning

because who knows

today might be a better day

I thought about this

and it brought tears to my eyes

after weeks of emptines

and impassiveness

crying felt so good 

but

what if there is no tears left to cry?

By erfauziyah and acciopositivitae